Fighting Depression: How these three points changed me and my life

Photo by Joe Caione on Unsplash

Depression is something I struggled with for a long time. The only thing that kept me going during those dark times was a simple mantra: “This too shall pass.”

I want to share three key points that helped me overcome depression. These steps took a toll on me, and while I lost valuable time, I hope my experience will help you recover faster.

1. Overcome the Habit of Blaming Yourself and Others

When I was depressed, I constantly blamed others for my situation, and then turned that blame inward. I was confused, irritated, and frustrated by my own habits. I felt out of control and started bottling up all my emotions, which only made things worse.

Depression often feels like a cyclic condition that worsens over time. It leaves you feeling trapped, helpless, and unsure of what to do. No miracle will happen unless you take action, and no one will come to rescue you unless you ask for help.

2. Practice Self-Love and Self-Respect

One of the most valuable lessons I learned was this: “Nobody is going to love or respect you if you don’t love and respect yourself.”

It may seem obvious, but it’s a difficult truth to live by. Self-love is the foundation of happiness. Without it, you cannot truly connect with others or experience joy. Meeting new people often leads to judgment, whether from them or from yourself. But happy people attract other happy people — and self-love is the key to that attraction.

3. Overcome Learned Helplessness

Learned helplessness is when you believe that no matter what you do, you cannot change your situation. It’s a common response to depression, and it’s something I experienced deeply.

As children, we rely on others for love and protection, which gives us a sense of security. However, as we grow older, it’s important to learn to provide that same love and security for ourselves. We need to stop seeking strength from external sources and start taking charge of our own lives.

The Dog Experiment: A Lesson in Learned Helplessness

Psychologist Martin Seligman conducted a famous experiment on dogs to understand learned helplessness. When dogs were exposed to inescapable shocks, they eventually stopped trying to escape — even when escape was possible. The lesson here is that we need to re-train ourselves to overcome feelings of helplessness by taking small, actionable steps toward change.

Forgive Yourself and Others

Forgiveness is essential for healing. “Forgive others, and most importantly, forgive yourself.” This can be challenging, especially when you feel weighed down by guilt or regret. But releasing these burdens is key to moving forward.

There are three types of people:

1. Those who forgive themselves but not others — their constant companion is ego.
2. Those who forgive others but not themselves — they are humble but burdened by worry.
3. Those who forgive neither themselves nor others — they carry the weight of sadness and anger.

Be the fourth type: Forgive everyone, including yourself, and move on. These are the people who find true happiness because they let go of resentment and choose peace.

Choose Happiness and Forgiveness

At the beginning of this article, I mentioned that we are often drawn to happy people. That’s because happy people forgive easily — both themselves and others. Deep down, we all seek easy forgiveness, and it’s one of the keys to living a fulfilling life.

I hope these three steps — letting go of blame, practicing self-love, and overcoming learned helplessness — help you as much as they helped me. If this article resonated with you, feel free to share your thoughts in the comments below.

#3WaysOut